Tech billionaires are buying bunkers for the apocalypse. Columbia decided normal people should get one too.
The outdoor brand has launched The Don’t Panic Room, a 40-foot off-grid survival bunker that one person will actually win, delivered to their home and stocked with Columbia gear, tools, supplies and pretty much everything needed to wait out the end of civilization.
The campaign from adam&eve\TBWA is a very deliberate shot at wealthy tech founders spending fortunes preparing for a future apparently created by… tech founders.
The Jackets Come In Cans
Columbia did not just put its logo on a shipping container.
Inside are bunk beds, a kitchen, dining area, bathroom, survival equipment and even Rocky, a robotic dog, presumably because the apocalypse could get lonely.
But the best product integration is on the shelves.
Columbia jackets have been sealed inside giant cans like emergency food supplies. Pop one open and inside is gear featuring Omni-Heat Infinity, the brand’s reflective warming technology that was itself inspired by emergency blankets.
It is ridiculous, but the product logic holds.
The bunker becomes an exaggerated demonstration of the brand promise: if Columbia is Engineered for Whatever, “whatever” might as well include the collapse of civilization.
The Tech Bros Are Very Much The Joke
Columbia is not being subtle about who it is trolling.
The campaign includes a New York Times ad and billboards placed around Silicon Valley. One reads:
“Sam, Jeff and Peter may have their bunkers. Maybe it’s time someone useful got one.”
Participants have until November 24 to submit a video showing the outdoor or survival skills that prove they deserve it. The eventual winner receives the modified bunker plus $35,000.
And once again, CEO Tim Boyle delivers the whole thing with a completely straight face.
That matters because this is quickly becoming Columbia’s creative personality.
Earlier this year, Boyle offered to give away the entire company to anyone who could prove the Earth was flat. Now he is giving away an apocalypse bunker because billionaires apparently got there first.
The joke keeps changing.
The brand does not.
Columbia sells gear for surviving the outdoors.
Apparently it works indoors at the end of the world too.
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